The one about Purpose

No one told me that once you cross a threshold in life, you are seemingly left with a lot of time. More often than not, I find myself sitting in a corner looking at the mighty old pine oaks behind my home and wondering what the meaning of all of this is. Unsurprisingly, the trees stand stoically and refuse to even acknowledge the question. As I have gotten older, I have been keen to look to nature for patterns to calm an anxious mind. However absurd it may seem, there is a sense of calm when you look at the towering giants, or when you see the birds go about it on an early morning.

I am fascinated by my own thoughts many times. On the outside at times, I would feel serene, yet the thoughts in my head would churn in turmoil. I used to think that this paradoxical narrative was unique to mankind, but then I realized thanks to a discussion with an AI agent that nature is not so different from us in that regard. The AI spoke of dualities, how opposing forces and narratives intertwine to create the intricate patterns that make life on this planet truly unique. That observation lingered with me—it was a thought-provoking moment.

Humans are creatures of habit. We stick to routines, patterns and beliefs to give ourselves a sense that we are in control. We like to plan things out, we set about making life choices that we hope/pray pays off in the future. Every step seems to be a calculated one on the surface. That said, everything that has happened in the last few years belie logic. No one could have predicted the outcomes that the world has been subjected to in the last few years. The COVID pandemic threw off things at a global scale. Economies faltered; governments changed. These were not planned. It almost felt like a response to a canon event (If you are unfamiliar with that term, I suggest watching Spiderman across the spider verse). But this proves that things though disparate may be connected in many ways.

To be honest these are exhausting thoughts, while there are days when you feel that you are closer to an answer, there are days where you end up disillusioned and drained. For every story about kindness, about bravery, about growth there were stories about war, about climate change and about our failings as humans. It is often tempting to immerse oneself in mindless scrolling of reels or shorts. The entertainment factor from social media or mass cinema has a numbing effect on thought. I could spend hours watching reels and be subject to micro doses of emotion. By the time you comprehend the humor of one, you are exposed to the next vulnerable moment. It is a pity that sometimes the initial reaction to a truly horrific scene may be a laugh from the previous reel.

I have also understood the need to accept realistic limits on what I hope to accomplish. No, I do not intend to embrace mediocracy, I still would like to attain and pursue goals that challenge me physically and mentally. I am just saying that these goals should be based on self-growth not blindly fueled by ego or hatred of something. If we can focus on improving our lives first, then we can look to improve the lives of those around us. That to me should be the purpose of our lives.

Dr APJ Kalam said these words to the European Parliament in 2007.  

‘Where there is righteousness in the heart

There is beauty in the character.

When there is beauty in the character,

There is harmony in the home.

When there is harmony in the home,

There is order in the nation.

When there is order in the nation,

There is peace in the world.’

I hold this so close to my heart as I wrap this up. We may not understand people's choices, beliefs but I don't want to belittle their choices. If we truly try to understand their choices, I am sure we will be pleasantly surprised to see how our lives have shaped from common themes and causes. This may sound idealistic and preachy but there is a sense of clarity in my mind. I am not going to worry myself on choices, events but understand and move forward. 

“Understanding, not controlling—that’s the path I choose to walk.”